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The last time my heart was broken was in June of 1993. The guy was my college boyfriend, Terry. We’d been together for most of our junior year. He was beautiful, he made me laugh, and he was going to be my husband.
So I thought.
On that day in June of 1993, Terry took me to The Mall in Washington. Lying on the green grass, the blue sky above and the Washington Monument towering over us, Terry gently told me. He’d changed his mind, he didn’t want to have a girlfriend, he wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. As he spoke, he stared out over the monuments, avoiding eye contact with me.
My heart shattered. Simply fell apart into a billion pieces. I never thought this would happen…we were so blissfully happy.
So I thought.
Over the next few weeks, I discovered my face could produce an obscene amount of liquid. I had no idea I could cry until there was nothing left, yet tears still ran out of my eyes.
I could not imagine my life without Terry. Who would I meet for dinner? Would I need to find a new study partner? My life had changed for the worst.
So I thought.
Time and distance heals. Thank goodness for time and distance. I can now honestly say that it was better that Terry ended things with me when he did.
When Terry came out of the closet in 1996, I wasn’t too shocked. Surprised, but a lot of things made sense after he told me. I actually felt a lot of relief…that it truly hadn’t be me.
These days, Terry is on my speed dial. We talk a few times per month, and he is still beautiful, and he still makes me laugh. I do not have to imagine my life without Terry because he is a part of it. But…I am glad I am not married to him after all.
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This post inspired by the book Lost Edens by Jamie Patterson. This book was given to me for my online book club. More posts inspired by the book can be found at From Left to Write.
I’m glad that he’s still a part of your life and you were able to maintain the friendship. You’re right, you should be glad you’re not married to him after all. The worst thing you can hear when someone breaks up with you or you break up with them is “Time Heals All Wounds” but you know what? It’s the only thing that is true. Time does heal. I always joke and say, “My mama told me the best way to get over a man is to get under another one!” (She never really said that but it’s better than telling someone Time Heals All Wounds. Great post! Wasn’t this a great book?
I don’t mean to laugh at your sadness, but it’s funny that he came out the closet years later!
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Wow. Just wow.
Time and distance heals. I just wish it didn’t take so much time.
I’m glad you’re still friends!
OK, so the end totally threw me for a loop and I laughed, too. In the end this seems like a happy post. You found a way to not get stuck in a marriage that ultimately would have failed and retained a best friend. I’m sure it was hard at the time, though!
I loved your post! It made me think of my own college heartbreak, who was wonderful, sweet, funny, love-of-my-life kind of guy. (It might explain a lot about Lost Edens to say that I was still crying over the loss of love-of-my-life guy when the ex-husband came into the picture.) What is it they say? That with time everything fades and only love remains (sounds like song lyrics?). I’m friends now, too, with college heartbreak and I can see that in some ways it would have been worse if he and I had gotten married. We weren’t a good long-term match but both of us would have stayed married for the same reasons I tried staying married: duty, loyalty, obligation. I’m glad that I have a chance to get married for the love, honor, and cherish parts. Things have a weird way of working out. Thanks for reading!
I cannot imagine heartbreak like that, and I’m so glad that time has healed it for you! I’ve lost some people dear to me, and I think that is one of the worst parts – the waiting for time to do its thing. Nothing else will fix that hurt, and time goes soooo slowly!