Greetings from my family vacation!  I’m in Cooperstown, NY.  The Husband’s family drove in from the Midwest, and we (The Husband, kids and I) met them at the big old farmhouse they rented for the week.  My nephew is playing in a tournament held at the Dreams Park, and we’ve gotten to see some awesome games.

It’s been so relaxing.  Time with family, lots of baseball, even hot dogs and hamburgers!  Very Americana, which is so appropriate considering my favorite holiday is approaching!  Happy Fourth of July to you and yours.

We love Super Why! in this house.  I’ve already blogged about our love for this awesome series, and now I want to pass the love on to you!

PBS and I are giving away two Super Why! products:  a DVD and a hidden word puzzle.

(I’m trying out the new Twittergiveaway app, Twiveaway by running a real, live giveaway.)

How can you win? One lucky Twitter follower who does both of the following by Sunday, July 5th at 11:59 PM EDT:

Step 1: Follow @wifeandmommy on Twitter if you aren’t already.

Step 2: Retweet the EXACT message below in bold (just copy and paste) on Twitter by Sunday, July 5 at 11:59 PM EDT.

RT @wifeandmommy is giving away a Super Why! DVD & puzzle. Details at http://wifeandmommy.com.  Giveaway ends 7/5 at 11:59 PM EDT!

Twiveaway will track your entry automatically when you follow me and retweet.  You don’t have to leave me a comment (but I’d love one anyway, thankyouverymuch!).

I’ll notify the winner via direct message on Twitter on Monday, July 6!

That’s it!  Well, not really…If you’re new to Wife and Mommy, please stay and have a look around.  Leave a comment. Subscribe to the RSS feed.  Tweet me a message on Twitter.

I’m at DC Metro Moms today talking about my “Recovering” Perfectionism…which is another way of saying I’m  a perfectionist at heart and always will be…but I’d like to think I am not.

Check it out!

Afte reading the book Testimony by Anita Shreve, I began thinking of all the moments in which I knew my life would never be the same:

• The moment I looked at the-boyfriend-who-would-become-The-Husband and knew he is the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with…
• The moment I saw two pink lines on that home pregnancy test…
• The moment I was hired for a job overseas…
• The moment I saw my newborn babies…three different times…

Testimony, a novel by Anita Shreve, tells a story of how one incident changes the course of many people’s lives in a ripple effect.   The four students who were involved in the actual incident, as well as their parents, the teachers, the school’s headmaster, the townspeople and others.  One incident…one moment.

I don’t know that there is one moment in which my life’s path was dramatically altered off the course it was already taking.  Becoming a wife and a mother is something I’d hoped for and planned for since I was young.    Living overseas was an adventure that I hadn’t dreamed of, but was a blip on the road of life that I am glad I experienced.  Even the sad incident of being raped didn’t alter my life, although it altered me and my outlook on people.  Is that the same thing?

I admit:  I don’t want to have a moment in which everything changes.  I like things the way they are right now, thankyouverymuch.  I fear that anything that might change it would be a bad change.  Blame the pessimist in me.  Sure, I suppose we could win the Powerball (if we actually played) and that might be a good change to our lives…but there are also plenty of stories of lottery winners who are now broke.

I’m happy with the status quo of my life.  I hope not to have a testimony of when my life was forever changed.

Once upon a time, there was a mommy blogger who wrote about her pregnancy.  The mommy, Beccah, discovered her baby was terminally ill while she was still carrying baby April.  Beccah chose to carry April to term, and delivered her at home on June 7.  A few hours after the birth, the baby died.

A heartbreaking story, indeed.  It could bring any mother to tears.

Too bad it was all a lie.  Beccah Beushausen made the whole thing up.

I have so many mixed emotions about this.  Anger that a person would play on the feelings of so many by concocting such an elaborate story.  Sadness that this person pulled such a hoax…and for what reason?  Attention?  Money?  To raise awareness?  Why why why?

I’ve been a part of online communities long enough to know hoaxes like this happen, and perhaps I’ve become jaded.  As much as I want to believe every sad story out there, I try not to let my emotions (and checkbook) become involved until I have some type of confirmation that I can believe.  Maybe that makes me cold-hearted, but I do not like being taken advantage of, even if it is by an anonymous blogger.  There are people I have met online whose lives I’ve become emotionally involved in…a woman beating breast cancer…a family whose son is fighting a rare disease…others who have hit hardships…losing a job, having every earthly possession stolen, caring for a parent in their twilight, moving cross-country, etc.  And then there are others who are just living their every day normal lives, and allowing me to be a part of it.

Regarding Beccah Beushausen:  despite my outrage and disgust for the situation, I feel compassion and forgiveness for her more than anything.  Doing something so calculated and then apologizing profusely for it…well.  I don’t think she’ll ever do anything like it again.  I hope she will seek help if that’s what she needs.  I hope she will be able to move on, learn from this incident, and hurt others no more.

Am I am allowing myself to be taken advantage of by not remaining cynical toward Beccah?  Maybe.  But I do believe there will be another hoax another day by another person…and I probably won’t be too surprised…

Not “old” age-wise (although we are getting up there).  Old as in long-established…

No, that's not us!

I had the pleasure of seeing an old friend this morning.  Kiera and I met 14 years ago this coming August, when we both entered our adjoining classrooms. It was my first teaching job, and Kiera’s first full-time teaching job.  We quickly became good friends for the three years we taught together.  We traveled, cooked-out, got pets, married our now-husbands, drank margaritas, gossiped on the telephone, visited each other after the births of babies…we’ve done it all.  (Just not all at the same time!)

Sadly, Kiera and I don’t get to see each other much anymore.  We’ve both left the teaching profession, and her job and family keep her super busy.  Still, we keep in contact via email and Facebook, and manage to get together when the stars align.  I love that when we sit down after a long time, I immediately feel comfortable with her.  We talk about things that normally take a while for me to be willing to share with others.  We reminisce and hold each others’ babies.  We move past the niceties and get to the heart of matters in no time flat.  She knows when to give advice and when to listen.  We toss around ideas and theories about God, the world, and everything.

So a host of thoughts are running through my head after this get-together with Kiera…our identities apart from our husbands and children, our mothers and how we are shaped by them…and lots of other stuff.  I hope Kiera will guest blog for me sometime in the near future as she’s an excellent writer and has so many wonderful things to say.

Everyone needs a friend like this.  I’m willing to share.  She’s too cool not to share with my readers.

I haven’t felt inspired to write recently.  Heck.  I haven’t felt inspired to do much of anything recently.  Hence the cluttered state of my house!

Preschool let out the Thursday before Memorial Day.  Um, hello??  You claim to follow the county’s calendar and yet you get out almost a month before the county…but I digress.  So Bito and Cupcake are spending a couple of weeks in camps, which is giving BabyMuffin and me some quality time together.  And when I say quality time, I mean he brings me every book in the house, every toy that Bito and Cupcake have left out, and every single shoe he can get.  Great fun for him!  We are also finding time to run several errands–Target, the bank, grocery shopping, etc.  

I am cherishing this time with BabyMuffin because he so rarely gets me all to himself.  I would say, “Poor youngest child,” but the truth is, I like that he has two older siblings around that dote on him (Cupcake) and push him around (Bito).  BabyMuffin is definitely learning good people skills being the youngest of three!

I’m also realizing that being with just one child is a piece of cake.  When Bito was a babe, I thought having just him alone was so difficult.  Little did I know!  These days, I feel so much freedom in buckling in just one kid.  Corraling him at the store is a breeze.  And he is so agreeable without his siblings around to pester him.

Still, I am so glad I have my three kids.  I love watching the dynamic of their sibling relationships develop.  I just hope I’ll say this two, three, four, ten years from now!

The rain didn’t stop us from playing outside this afternoon.
Bito and Cupcake were allowed to stomp in the puddles.
They loved twirling their umbrellas.
And then a big furniture delivery truck parked on our street.
It was a good day. 

I’m over at DC Metro Moms today.  

It’s a topic day for DCMM and all our sister sites.  The topic?  Children of the Recession.  

This all started by the series on CBS, Children and the Recession.  

Katie Couric wrote blog post for NYC Moms Blog, and had a conference call with a bunch of the SV Moms.

Got all that?

Anyway.  Go take a lookie.  Lots of things to ponder…

I’m not a big original series Star Trek fan, but I know the familiar lines like:

It is logical…
Fascinating.
I’ve given it all she’s got, Captain!
I’m a doctor, not a ______ !
It’s worst than that…he’s dead, Jim.
Energize!

However, I don’t know the floor map for the USS Enterprise. I don’t know all the nuances of the characters’ relationships.  Sometimes I have to be reminded by The Husband what the pecking order is on the bridge, and he helpfully fills me in on typical traits of different species.

So I confess I didn’t have high expectations for the Star Trek movie.  I was just excited that The Husband and I had the opportunity to go to a matinee to see it this afternoon.  

I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy the film as much as I did.

I didn’t care so much about the space battle scenes, the action portions of the movie, or the alternate timeline story.  Rather, my attention was held by the stories of how the crew came to be…how relationships were formed, and what the characters younger versions were like.  I loved Scotty’s exuberance…and Bones’ cynicism.  Jim Kirk’s brash, arrogant, and over-the-top recklessness amused me.  

But it was Spock’s backstory that intrigued me most:  how his parents shaped him, how he kept his inner struggles in check, how it affected his everyday dealings with others.  I think I liked it because I wonder what my own children will be like in the future because of their experiences, the ways we are parenting them, and because of their mixed races!

I’m glad I was able to go see this with The Husband.  He amazed me once again with his vast knowledge of sci-fi trivia.  He filled in blanks that I was clueless about, and cheerfully discussed it with me afterwards.  And he held my hand when I teared up l as Leonard Nimoy spoke one of my favorite lines,

I have always been and always shall be your friend.

Sometimes I wonder if all mommies know about certain tricks and I’m just the clueless one.

Like the Saturday Box.  My friend told me about it a long time ago, and I mentally filed it away as something that I might use when my kids get a bit older.

Well.  They are bit older now and shockingly, I remembered.  

Okay, so I remembered in a fit of anger as I tripped over toys left on the floor.  I immediately grabbed the nearest empty box and scrawled, “SATURDAY BOX,” on it.  It ain’t pretty, but it is functional.

The kids know what is expected of sharing and caring for their toys.  If a rule is broken, the toy goes to live in the Saturday Box until, well, the coming Saturday.  Leapster left on the sofa where it will get sat upon by The Husband?  Into the Saturday Box it goes.  Bito and Cupcake arguing over who gets to play with the Diego Rescue Center?  Either figure out how to share it or go put into the Saturday Box–the center and all its accessory pieces.  My Little Pony thrown down in anger?  Put it in The Saturday Box on your way to time-out.  You get the idea.

There is nothing more pleasing than hearing the thunk of the toy as it hits the bottom of The Saturday Box.  At least for me.

Drat that Bito knows the days of the week and is all over Saturday mornings…

My kids love Super Why!  I just heard Bito saying, “Welcome to Story Book Village!” as he opened our front door!  Cupcake marvels that the characters are allowed to stand on bookshelves. BabyMuffin loves the bright colors, sounds, and songs.

I love Super Why! too. Really, what’s not to love?  It’s a great show with four cool characters:  Whyatt, Princess Pea , Little Red Riding Hood and Pig (from the Three Little Pigs).  These characters transform into super reading heros.  They jump into familiar books to solve every day problems that a youngster might encounter.  

Beyond that, the show introduces preschoolers to reading concepts: alphabet power, word power, spelling power and the power to read.   And my kids really, truly get into it.   Cupcake stands at the television and points to the correct letters.  Bito sounds out the words and understands the concept of rhyming words.  

So I was totally giddy to be invited to PBS Headquarters with my DC Metro Moms friends.  We had the pleasure of meeting Angela Santomero, Creator and Executive producer of Super Why! and Lesli Rotenberg, Senior Vice President of Children’s Media at PBS.  Ms. Santomero, who also created Blues Clues, went through the process of how the Super Why! series was brought to fruition.  (Aside here:  Ms. Santomero is very personable, warm, and witty.  She answered my biggest question about Super Why!–why are there three kids and a pig??)   We learned that research proves Super Why! helps children learn to read.  The DC Metro moms exclaimed that we’d love to enroll our kids in a Super Why! camp if it was offered here. 

I love Super Why! even more after attending this meeting!  Sure, I thought it was a great show that engaged my kids for 25 minutes while I get ready in the morning.  But after hearing the how the show is very carefully crafted, I am really impressed with the teaching aspect of it.  It’s good television that I don’t mind encourage my kids to watch!

As we left, we were given a preview of activities that are on the PBS Parents website.  Learning with Super Why! correlates activities with the episodes, but are different from activities on the parents and teachers sites.  This gives you and your Super Reader a chance to work together to explore the learning benefits of Super Why!  Thanks TechSavvyMama for the heads up that this is live as of today and available to you now!

My Posse (read:  the kids) and I haven’t gotten to doing these activities, I confess.  But Amy M.  of TeachMama has!  Amy is a teacher, reading specialist, mom, and blogger.  She and her three kids–ages 5, 3 1/2, and 2, have been engaging in the new lessons throughout the week. On her TeachMama site you can find a run down of activities for Days 1 , 2, and 3 (with the other days to come!) along with the instructional methods used with her children, an account of how she’s modified the activities, and a very honest account of how she perceives the activities as a mom and teacher. Amy’s PBS Love posts are awesome resources but so is the rest of her site!  If you have young learners in your house and are looking for ways to incorporate a fun and easy little lesson into each day, check out all of Amy’s great ideas (thanks again, TechSavvyMama for letting me know that Amy’s doing all this awesome legwork!).

Super Why! airs on WETA at 6:30 AM and on MPT at 8:30 AM.  At least it does in this house…

Today is The Day After Mother’s Day.
The toy box has thrown up its contents all over the living room floor.
The kitchen sink is heaped high with dirty dishes.  
Did the cereal bowls multiply while we were out running errands?
Three baskets of clean laundry sit patiently waiting to be folded.
Three other baskets of clothes sit patiently waiting to be washed and dried.
I don’t even want to look at the state of the basement playroom.
Cupcake bonked Bito on the head with a Happy Meal toy.  
She also threw a flashlight at him.
She then screamed bloody murder when I removed her to another room.
BabyMuffin threw a major tantrum when I laid him on the changing table–oh, the horrors.
Bito was in hysterics because, well, he’d been whomped on the noggin and had a flashlight hurled at him.

The Mother’s Day glow has faded.
It was nice to be celebrated for that one day.
Now it’s back to regular life.

I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t blog on Mother’s Day.  After all, half my bloggy name has to do with mothering!

I must confess:  I had zero expectations for the day.  So everything the kids and The Husband did was gravy. And they really laid it on.  Cards, flowers, pictures, a family stroll through the neighborhood, and even some time Just for Me!  I feel so loved and refreshed by my thoughtful, awesome crew.

I am truly blessed with a wonderful family.  I would not choose my life any other way.

I was alerted to a story of a local baby.  Noah Whitmer was born November 29, 2008.  Last month, he was shaken by his daycare provider.  He is now in the Pediatric ICU at INOVA Fairfax Hospital, in a medically-induced coma.  An MRI has determined extensive brain damage has been done.  Also, Noah’s sight maybe affected as there was bleeding behind his retinas.

His parents, Mike and Erin, have set up a blog to share his story.    They can no longer provide medical updates, but would still appreciate your kind words, good thoughts, prayers and support.  Please, if you have a moment, stop by Noah’s Road.  In their About This Blog section, they write:

On Monday, April 20th, Noah, our five month-old son, was shaken by his daycare provider. Though the road ahead remains uncertain, and the tragedy of our story is undeniable, we have created Noah’s Road as an instrument of hope. Please share this website with your friends and ask your friends to share it with theirs. Help us harness the healing power of love and prayer to help our son – our heart and our breath – to heal.

photo from BananaBlueberry

Okay, confession:  I have never watched a single episode of Top Chef.
Another confession:  Before last night, I had no idea who Spike is.

This didn’t stop me from going to Spike’s new restaurant, Good Stuff Eatery last night…and I’m so glad I went!  I was with a bunch of the gals from DC Metro Moms and we had a gooooood time.

I mean, what’s not to like?  Good food—check out the menu here!  I’d saved all my calories for the day so I indulged in a yummy Farmhouse burger, onion petals and a couple of beers.  Dessert was an awesome black-and-white milkshake.  Everything was so YUM.

Spike was very welcoming and kind.  Check him out with Devra (who is so fashionable in her Juicy hoodie!):

photo from Devra

And here he is with Kim, who is NOT me, even though We All Look Same:

photo from Passion & Art

Some of the fabulous DC Metro Moms bloggers:

photo from Devra

I had such a great time catching up with some of my fave bloggers:  Jodi, Jessica, Sandie, Diana, Sarah, Nicole, KC, Robin, Delora, Justice Fergie, Leticia, Amy…  I also got to meet some new friends:  Stimey, JJ, Claire Jess, Aimee, Amy M., Sue, Amy G.   (My apologies to anyone I might have left out!)

Thank you thank you thank you to: 
Quaker Oats for sponsoring our get-together
Spike for opening his restaurant and making delicious food for us
Devra and Sarah for organizing and putting it all together
The Caps for winning last night!
Kim, Nicole, and Devra for allowing me to steal your pictures
…and to the moms who came out to make it a fun time!

Shoving dry spaghetti into hot dogs pieces and then boiling the whole thing results in this:

Um, no thanks.  I’ll pass.

But I am curious as to whether or not my kids would eat them.  Would your kids?

Do I dare try making it to see if they’d actually consume these?

Found on various pages on LiveJournal and on BoingBoing.

This week (April 25 to May 2) is National Infertility Awareness Week.

Honestly?  I had no idea, until my dear friend Shannon wrote about it in her blog.  Her post is a poignant piece that made me pause and think about infertility in a personal way that I never have.

And so now I charge you, dear readers, to think about it as well.  To say a prayer for those who want to be a mother or a mother again.  Who aren’t able to for some reason or other…7.3 million Americans are affected.  I’m sure you know one or two who fall into that category.

“To you, embarrassment is the extreme dismay that arises when something you’ve so desperately hoped to conceal is revealed–and not by your own choosing.”

Much to Your Chagrin:  A Memoir of Embarrassment by Suzanne Guillette

The other day, I was telling my friend a funny story about something Cupcake had done.  I happened to glance over at my daughter, whom I thought was playing and not paying attention.  I was surprised to see her watching us, with a shy and slightly mortified look on her face..  

I immediately ceased laughing and turned the conversation to another topic.  I felt bad that I’d caused her embarrassment…but I was also amazed that a person so young could feel and express embarrassment!

In talking to The Husband about it, I’ve decided I will try very hard not to embarrass my daughter if possible.  At least not at this tender young age.  One of the things I love most about Cupcake is her sparkling vivaciousness–how she goes out and lives life fully without thinking about how she looks or how others perceive her.  I’m jealous of this quality since I worry about what others think of me more often than I care to admit.  

I’m sure there will come a time where Cupcake will be aware of her actions and what others think.  I’m also sure there will come a time where she will do things that will cause her extreme embarrassment.  I don’t need to help that along. But have no fear…I plan to savor those moments and keep them in my memory for when it is finally time to embarrass her!

This post is inspired by the Silicon Valley Moms Blog Book Club selection Much to Your Chagrin: A Memoir of Embarrassment by Suzanne Guillette.  A whole book about someone else’s embarrassing moments is a good read and can make you feel better about yourself!

I am so glad two of my three children are potty trained.  So, so glad.  

However.  

When I am out and about with my three darlings, the last thing I want to do is find a way to go to a public restroom.

Can you blame me?

At least Bito is fairly easy since he is five and a boy.  He takes care the whole process himself and he can do it alone.  However, I have yet to let him use the men’s room all by himself with me hovering outside the door.  I just haven’t reached that point yet.  Mothers of boys, tell me I will eventually.  I will, right?

Cupcake is pretty independent and seems to think she can handle her potty business alone.  This is so far from the truth it’s not even funny.  

And BabyMuffin is, well, still a baby.  Wherever I go, he goes (at least when we’re in public).  If I have to change his diaper in public, I’d prefer to find a clean, quiet location since that makes the process easier for me.

So that leaves me schlepping all four of us into a bathroom stall when one, two or three of us need to go.  I pray as we approach a bathroom that there is a large, handicap-use stall available for us to use.  That makes it somewhat easier.

BabyMuffin is a new walker, which means he’s toddling about and exploring everything.  Um, no thank you in a public restroom, so into a stroller or shopping cart he goes.  This, then, leads to the problem of parking the lumbering apparatus in the restroom while helping being with Cupcake. 

Imagine my surprise to discover a local mall had family restrooms available.  There were two bathrooms, with a shared common area.  The common area held a nice diaper changing station, which BabyMuffin and I appreciated.  Inside the each of the bathrooms (which had their own locked doors), there was a regular toilet and a child-sized toilet.  Cupcake was delighted to use a toilet her size, and I was glad for it as well since I didn’t have to worry about her toppling over or into the commode (yes, it’s happened).  Bito opted for the normal sized toilet since he is a Big Boy.

A stepstool was at the sink, which allowed my short daughter to reach the faucet, soap and paper towels herself.  And the bathroom was large enough for BabyMuffin’s stroller to easily fit and still allow us enough room to manuever around.  The entire area was clean and well maintained.  Not that I’d let BabyMuffin crawl around the floor or anything…

Bravo, I say.  Now that I know this family restroom exists and works well for our needs, I am more likely to choose going to this mall and not be anxious about taking my brood to the potty!

I plan to rate this restroom here as soon as they have their submission form operational again!